Sunday, August 4, 2013

4 days out of surgery!

Before I start playing major catch up with this ole blog, I thought I would start with the present!  I can't promise any of these blogs will make a lot of sense due to the fact that I am still on pain meds....but I can't do much of anything else, so I thought it was a good time to sit down and go through the last couple months of my life! : )

I am 4 days out of my double mastectomy.  It's been a whirlwind.  I can't believe it has come and gone...however, I still have a long journey ahead of me!

Last week, Josh and I went to the lake to pick up Cooper (after a two week stay with Gabby and Grumps).  We stopped in at the convenient store to pick up some last minute things for the boat, and as I was coming back out to the car, Josh was talking to a man (by the look of their conversation, it was like they knew each other).  As I came closer, the man introduced himself and told me he had an overwhelming urge to pray for me.  He explained that he had tried to leave the parking lot 3 different times, but just couldn't.  He obviously didn't know about my upcoming surgery, so I was completely taken aback.  He was the most genuine person.  He explained to me that he didn't feel like I was in danger or anything scary was going to happen to me...but he just needed to pray a prayer of peace over me.  He grabbed my hands in the parking lot and prayed a short prayer and left.  Wow....just wow!

Wednesday, July 24.  Surgery day.  I honestly wasn't nervous.  I knew it was going to painful..but all of the prayers must've worked because I was very calm.  We had to be at the hospital at 5:30.  Surgery started around 8:00 and was over around 2:00.
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Ok...now I am 11 days out!  I needed a nap mid-blog, and am just now getting back on here!

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After I woke up from surgery I was burning up.  Because I was under for so long, they had to  wrap me in a blanket that blows warm air to regulate my body temp....whew!  All I know is that when I woke up, I was in horrible pain and was burning up! I was trying with all of my might to get the blanket off....all at the same time as listening to someone next to me puke their guts up. It was an oh so joyful experience!
I was in pain all over, but my right side was the worst.  Even taking a breath hurt.  As soon as they got me out of recovery and into my own room with a morphine pump, I started doing better.  Morphine is an amazingly awful drug.  It definitely kept the pain under control, but it made me so sick.  Every time a doctor came in to talk to me, they told me to open my eyes to make sure I wasn't sleeping and was listening. I could hear them, but I literally couldn't open my eyes!  And if I did, I would see 25 of everything..and everything would be spinning.
All the rest of my hospital stay was a blur.  I spent the night and didn't go home the next day until about 5:00.  My first attempt at walking the halls was a fail because I ended up throwing up.  After that, I told them I had to get off of the morphine or I was never going to be discharged.  So they took me off (after just one more pump that I snuck in) and put me on oral pain meds.  Pain was a little stronger, but I could see when I opened my eyes.  I finally walked the halls late on Thursday afternoon and was discharged soon after.  I came home with 4 drain tubes.  At the beginning we had to strip them and measure the fluid every 4 hours.  I got one taken out at my 1 week appt. and now we only strip them around 3 times a day.  I go back to the doctor tomorrow (day 12) to get another drain out and to check to see if I have a hematoma!  Joy!
Life at home has been a roller coaster.  Josh took the last week and a 1/2 off and has been amazing with the boys.  He's totally taken over mommy/daddy/caretaker duty.  They have been swimming several times, to the Jumping Party, the dear lease, to get ice cream.  They last 3 nights he has been out of pocket.  Thursday golfing league (but made it back early enough to get boys in bed), took Coop to the lease on Friday, and he went to the lease with one of his friends last night.  My mom has been great about keeping the boys..more than anything I feel like that is what I need the most.  Cooper understands, but Whitten does not...and it breaks my heart.  I have had a few melt downs about not being able to pick them up.  It's rough on a mommy with boys who love to be held and snuggled....and I can't give them what they need!
All in all I'm doing alright!  One thing that  crawls all over me is when people relate my decision to do this to Angelia Jolie.  I don't know why, but it just really irritates me!  Why would I make this decision based on a celebrity? Getting a nose job or some other cosmetic surgery, maybe!  But, chopping off your ta-ta's ain't no walk in the park!!!!   My doctor's are the ones that decided this was the next necessary step after several biopsies and 2 lumpectomies (with another lumpectomy needed).  We decided to do this over a year ago, but I just couldn't take the plunge until we decided whether or not we wanted another baby!   My insurance agreed as well because it was all covered!  Vent over!
I feel like I will be more back to normal once these drain tubes come out.  They hurt and are just plain obnoxious!
I am thankful for my awesome doctors!  But I am beyond grateful that I am not going through chemo and radiation at the same time.  I can't even imagine.

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